Wendy Beneke

Wendy Lane Beneke

April 27 ^th 1940 - April 22 ^nd 2022

At a conference several years ago, Wendy and her fellow attendees, as an exercise, each crafted their own obituaries.  As a Jungian analyst, Wendy studied and understood the cycle of life, so we thought the appropriate tribute would be to publish her words in their entirety with only minor edits.

According to her mother, Wendy came into the world saying, “Here I am world.” She left the world saying, “Thank you world, thank you for all the experiences during this incarnation.” She was blessed to be born, according to her mother, of “the greatest love” between her parents, Daphne Pency Lane and Edward Uihlein Beneke. The legacy of that love energy was incarnated in her search to embody her truth. She particularly resonated with a quote from the artist Paul Gaugin, who commented a month before his death:

“All I have learned from others has merely stood in my way…It is true that I know very little! But, I prefer this little, which is my very own and who can say if this very little, put to use by others, may not become a big thing?”

She was born at a time, in the history of women, when often the father determined the trajectory of his daughter’s life. Her father, wanted above all for his eldest daughter to marry well. He wanted her to be a good German Hausfrau-to tend to the family and be a great hostess. Her mother’s path in life, having been a child of the Great Depression, was to know that women had to carve their own path to security. So, when she approached the “mating season” of her life, she consciously (or more correctly) unconsciously, chose a partner who would propel her in the direction of a deeper search for her truth. Wendy and her husband Ernest, had three children: Edwin, Daphne, and Ian. At Wendy’s death, she was a grandparent to six grandchildren: Darcy (the daughter of Edwin and Tina), Jackson and Nick (the sons of Daphne and Eric), and Hanna, Caroline, and Alexis (the daughters of Ian and Vicky).

During her marriage to Ernest she did fulfill much of her father’s blueprint for her life. She and her husband were very active in the education of their children. And they eventually helped other parents build a high school for their children. She enjoyed her experience of motherhood and wifehood. A comment her eldest son made recently: “Mama, remember how you spoiled me when I was little? You took me to the Planetarium any time I wanted to go.” She was very active in Community Affairs, and helped launch programs to protect the environment and develop the arts. Socially, she and her husband were active in the Little Theater. She played the leading lady in several plays. In “Anastasia,” she played the role of Anastasia, while he played the role of Prince Bounine and later, she played “Eleanor” to his to his Henry in “The Lion in Winter.” Mardi Gras is a celebratory event with Mardi Gras Balls. Wendy was Queen of the Krewe of Iberians, representing the community of New Iberia, where the chosen queens are married women.

But then her father passed away suddenly. He was only sixty and died in his sleep from a massive heart attack. Wendy and her family had been with him the day before he died on the thirtieth anniversary of his marriage to Wendy’s mother. As Wendy slept in the guest house, the night after he died, he came to her and said, “Wendy, it is better this way.” She was twenty-eight years old and could not understand “why” it was better this way – so began her search for the answer, first from her priest and later from Jungian Dream work. As she entered her forties it was time to end the role she had played in the collective of her culture as wife, mother, and civic leader. Her life force chose a different gradient for her psychic development: to explore the world of the unconscious and begin to search, on a deeper level for her own truth. During the next thirty-forty years, she was active in the personal development work that honored both herself and her clients. She became a Licensed Social Worker and a Sandplay therapist. She devoted her energy to working with nature at her beloved home in Lafayette, Louisiana. She loved being a part of nature and preparing to make her own passage to the Light. She would often tell her beloved sisters and brothers as they all aged: “We are just like the flowers-we blossom and then we fade with brown spots and withered limbs before we too take a different role in nourishing the earth to which we all return.” Her other passion, which took its root when she was a child, was her love of books. She passed peacefully, surrounded by her three children and siblings, in her home at Boulder Colorado on April 22 ^nd , 2022 at 6pm which synchronistically is her Mother’s Birthday and Earth day.

A Memorial Service for close Friends and Family will be held on April 30 ^th in Columbus, MS.  In lieu of flowers, Wendy's wish would be that you take a moment of self-care and/or commune with nature in your own way.